One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve called out to God:

— Lord, I have a problem!

— What’s the problem, Eve?

— Lord, I know you’ve created me and have provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, and that hilarious funny snake, but I’m just not happy.

— Why is that, Eve? came the reply from above.

— Lord, I am lonely. And I’m sick to death of apples.

— Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you.

— What’s a ‘man’, Lord?

— This man will be a flawed creature, with aggressive tendencies, an enormous ego and an inability to empathize or listen to you properly. All in all, he’ll give you a hard time. But, he’ll be bigger, faster and more muscular than you. He’ll also need your advice to think properly. He’ll be really good at fighting and kicking a ball about, hunting fleet-footed ruminants, and not altogether bad in the sack.

— Sounds great, says Eve, with an ironically raised eyebrow. What’s the catch, Lord?

— Yeah, well…. you can have him on one condition.

— What’s that, Lord?

— You’ll have to let him believe that I made him first.

Vocabulary Help

  • call out – chamar
  • reply – resposta
  • above – de cima
  • lonely – solitária
  • sick to death – enjoada
  • flawed creature – criatura cheia de falhas
  • listen – ouvir
  • all in all – no geral
  • hard time – tempos difíceis
  • faster – mais rápido
  • advice – conselho
  • fight – lutar
  • bad – ruim
  • sounds great – soa bem
  • what´s the catch? – qual a pegadinha?
  • believe – acreditar