This puts “having a bad day” into perspective!
When you have an ‘I Hate My Job’ day (even if retired you have those sometimes), try this:
On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson &Johnson.
Be very sure you get this brand. When you get home, lock your doors, draw the curtains and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed.
Change into very comfortable clothing and sit in your favorite chair. Open the package and remove the thermometer. Now, carefully place it on a table or a surface so that it will not become chipped or broken. Now the fun part begins. Take out the literature from the box and read it carefully. You will notice that in small print there is a statement: ‘Every Rectal Thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson is personally tested and then sanitized. Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times, ‘I am so glad I do not work in the thermometer quality control department at Johnson & Johnson.’
HAVE A NICE DAY AND REMEMBER, THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE ELSE WITH A JOB THAT IS MORE OF A PAIN IN THE BUTT THAN YOURS!
Now aren’t you glad I gave you this important information?
- bad day – dia ruim
- box – caixa
- brand – marca
- break (break, broke, broken) – quebrado
- carefully – cuidadosamente
- change – mudar, trocar
- chipped – lascado
- count your blessings – conte suas bençãos
- draw the curtains – fechar as cortinas
- fun part – parte divertida
- glad – feliz
- hate – odiar
- job – emprego
- lock – fechar
- notice – notar
- pain in the butt – dor no c…
- rectal thermometer – termometro retal
- remember – lembre-se
- retired – aposentado
- sit (sit, sat, sat) – sentar
- small print – letras pequenas
- sure – certo
- surface – superfície
- take out – tirar