A woman named Shirley was from Beverly Hills. One day, she had a heart attack and was taken to Cedars Sinai hospital. While on the operating table, she had a near-death experience.

She saw God and asked, “Is this it?”

God said, “No, you have another 30 to 40 years to live.”

Upon her recovery, she decided to stay in the hospital and have collagen shots, cheek implants, a face lift, liposuction and breast augmentation. She even had someone dye her hair. She figured since she had another 30 to 40 years, she might as well make the most of it.

She walked out of Cedars Sinai lobby after the last operation and was killed by an ambulance speeding up to the hospital.

She arrived in front of God and said,

“I thought you said I had another 30 to 40 years?”

God replied, “Shirley! I didn’t recognize you!”

Vocabulary Help

  • woman – mulher
  • heart attack – ataque do coração
  • near-death experience – experiência de quase morte
  • see (see, saw, seen) – ver
  • recovery – recuperação
  • stay – ficar
  • shot – injeção
  • cheek – bochecha
  • face lift – levantar a face
  • breast – seio
  • dye – tingir
  • make the most of it – aproveitar ao máximo
  • walk out – sair
  • kill – matar
  • speed up – acelerar
  • arrive – chegar
  • think (think, thought, thought) – pensar
  • reply – responder
  • recognize – reconhecer