Three old men are sitting on the porch of a retirement home. The first says:

Fellas, I got real problems. I’m seventy years old. Every morning at seven o’clock I get up and I try to urinate. All day long I try to urinate. They give me all kinds of medicine but nothing helps.

The second old man says:

You think you have problems. I’m eighty years old. Every morning at 8:00 I get up and try to move my bowels. I try all day long. They give me all kinds of stuff but nothing helps.

Finally the third old man speaks up:

Fellas: I’m ninety years old. Every morning at 7:00 sharp I urinate. Every morning at 8:00 I move my bowels. Every morning at 9:00 sharp I wake up.

Vocabulary Help

  • bowels – intestinos
  • get up – levantar
  • kind – tipo
  • medicine – remédio
  • porch – varanda
  • retirement home – asilo
  • sharp – em ponto (afiado)
  • stuff – coisas
  • try – tentar
  • wake up – acordar